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Often while having a conversation with myself, i experience this rather disturbing trend. I don’t know if it is usual though if it is, then it’d be a great solace.

I start thinking about something and then my chain of thoughts is disrupted by totally contradictory views. Suppose i begin with thinking about what i am going to say to a friend who has been acting weird lately, before i realise i drift into thinking about how i may have behaved differently that in turn might have led to the change in the other person’s behaviour.

One moment i completely loathe him for being inconsiderate and mean and the next instant i am full of hatred for myself!

And then while i jump from one conclusion to another, i usually doze off!!

I saw something similar happening the other day at a debate i attended. The interjector asked the speaker what he spoke about in a roundabout fashion. the topic under discussion was the controversial book written on Jinnah by EX BJP leader Jaswant Singh. But all that is immaterial. What happened was that when confronted, the speaker did a complete turnaround on all that he had been speaking and indirectly justified the very act he had been speaking against! Though in the end he hotch potched  everything and stood by what he had claimed earlier.

Now i ask if this is normal. And if it is not, then what it so abnormal in it? Opinions are no rigid structures. They do change or get modified over a period of time. What is the big deal if this transition takes place within seconds?

But what bothers me is that it somehow indicates a fickle minded personality. It is akin to living with your alter ego, being fully aware of its existence and feeding it every day. And this by no means is an admirable trait?

Is there a way out??